Recent Blog Posts
5 ways to strengthen relationships with your children as the non-custodial parent
Divorce is hard on the parents, but children often struggle the most when parents decide to call it quits. They deal with confusion, anger, sadness and many other emotions that are hard to reconcile when they are not quite old enough to understand what has happened. If they are used to living with both parents, maintaining a relationship with the non-custodial parent is particularly challenging but is made easier when the parent makes the effort to connect. Regardless of your feelings toward your ex or the tensions that run between the two of you, your children should benefit from interactions with both parents as often as possible.
1. Make your home their home
If you are the parent who moved out and got a new home, your kids may feel uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings. When you are choosing furniture and decorating, do as much as you can to make them feel wanted and welcome. Give them their own bedroom if possible and decorate it together.
5 signs your marriage may be headed to an end
It is difficult to pull the plug and make the final decision to end your marriage. Many couples wonder if it is the right thing to do, how it will affect the children and how they will survive without the emotional and financial support of a spouse. The bottom line is that sometimes divorce is a better option than staying together, and you must both know when to admit that it is time to move on. The following are common signs that your marriage may be in trouble.
1. Everything ends in a fight
Do simple things like finding a movie to watch or deciding which restaurant to eat at end in fights and insults hurled at each other? Fights and arguments are common in marriage and are not by themselves a sign that divorce is on the horizon, but if every simple decision evolves into an argument, you may need to think about the future of your marriage.
2. Financial stress
It is difficult to maintain romance when you are both constantly worried about how to pay the bills and make it to the next paycheck. Financial problems are one of the main reasons that people end their marriages. If you just cannot get past the stress of how you live financially, it may be time to think about moving on. Keep in mind that ending the marriage may also create new financial problems as you attempt to maintain two households.
4 things not to fight over in a divorce
Most divorces don't need to be a long, drawn out and acrimonious process. It can be less stressful if both parties agree to be respectful. This is a challenge for many couples, however.
In order to avoid the bitterness that so often accompanies divorce proceedings, try not to fight over less important things. What really matters in a divorce is the well-being of yourself and your family, so you should do your best to avoid prolonged arguments. Mediation is often helpful for couples who are disputing aspects of their divorce such as:
Separation of assets
It is important, of course, to retain the belongings that are most important to you when you are going through a divorce. Too often, though, people can get caught up in arguing the minute details of belongings accumulated throughout a marriage. When it comes down to it, this is not necessarily the most important factor, and you may benefit from compromising and letting some things go. Rather than fighting over every item, choose your battles wisely and consider whether certain possessions are worth your worries.
5 tips for using social media during a divorce
Today, it is easy to share everything you feel and every event you experience with the entire world through social media platforms. Whether you are sipping margaritas on a beach or going through a painful divorce, the audience is the same. Unfortunately, many use social media as a platform to spread bad things about their ex or to vent about their divorce. When you are dealing with a painful divorce and need to share information and gain support from family and friends, what is the appropriate way to use social media to do so?
1. Would you say this in person?
It is easy to sit behind a keyboard and spout anger and information about a frustrating situation. The best thing to do when you are deciding whether or not to hit the post button is to decide if the post represents something you would say to the person's face. Remember that anything you post publicly may be admissible in court, so it is often best to air your grievances in person.
How to resolve parenting time issues without conflict
Divorce is often complicated when there are children involved, and it is not uncommon for parents in Texas to have differing ideas about parenting their kids. When those differences interfere with your ability to co-parent, you and the other parent should find ways to work together to bring about a solution in the most amicable way possible.
Work on communicating with each other
The sooner you start accepting that your relationship with your ex-spouse is different, the better. You and your former partner now must work together for the benefit of your kids, and communication is important. When you and your former spouse talk to each other, try not to involve your emotions.
Pay attention to what is said during each conversation, whether it is by phone, email or text, and try your best to avoid challenging everything that is said. Even if there are family issues that involve conflicts like your children getting in trouble at school or your kids displaying negative behavior, you and your former partner should learn to discuss things in a pleasant and productive manner.
Why mediation is beneficial for an amicable split
Going through a divorce is stressful, even if the split is amicable. Aside from all the legal hoops that need to be jumped through, there are a lot of decisions that need to be made. No matter how much you believe that you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can handle things on your own, it's going to be very beneficial having a mediator to act as an unbiased third-party. A mediator works on behalf of both spouses, they don't take sides.
Most couples who chose the mediation route in lieu of hiring separate attorneys do so because their split is amicable. Both parties likely share similar thoughts on how the divorce should be handled and the mediator's goal is to make sure that the final agreement leaves both parties feeling satisfied.
Here are a few major benefits to choosing mediation over litigation:
Listening to both sides
As stated above, a mediator is not there to take sides. They work hard to understand each position and gather as much information about the marriage as possible.
Defining legal advice and the role of a mediator
If you choose to go the divorce mediation route, you and your spouse will hire a neutral, third-party mediator. The role of a mediator is to meet with you to help you come to an agreement on issues and resolve problems that arise in the divorce process. While the mediator will serve as a facilitator, there are certain things mediators are not permitted to do. Here is some vital information about legal advice and the role of a mediator.
What is legal advice?
Only lawyers are permitted to provide legal advice. Therefore, any advice you receive from your friends or family does not qualify as legal advice. True legal advice actually creates an agreement between the client and the attorney based on the legal issue the client is attempting to resolve. Some of the characteristics of legal advice include:
- Requires legal skill, education, judgment and knowledge
Texas child custody mediation FAQs
Child custody battles are almost always emotional. Combine tense situations with legal fees and lengthy courtroom trials, and the whole process can be overwhelming and psychologically draining. However, child custody matters do not need to be addressed in a courtroom. In many states, Texas included, child custody can be negotiated through mediation. If you are considering using a mediator, you probably have many questions. We can answer them and help you understand the process.
What is child custody mediation?
Child custody mediation is a private process in which a mediator (always a neutral party) helps two parents reach a mutually agreeable custody arrangement for their child or children. The mediator is not a judge and cannot enforce the custody arrangements.
What is the benefit of using a mediator in a Texas child custody case?
There are many benefits to using a mediator to settle child custody arrangements:
5 Things kids need from parents during divorce
Scientific American reported that nearly 1.5 million children witness their parents' divorce annually. As parents begin the process of legalizing their divorce, they can become consumed with the details while trying to manage their own feelings. Though children are resilient, it is important to remember that they will need extra attention during the divorce process. Here are five things that kids need from their parents during a divorce.
1. Continued presence of both parents
Studies consistently reveal that children are more adjusted, healthier and more self-confident when they have relationships with both parents. Either before or during the divorce, one parent usually moves out, which makes it more difficult to see his or her children each day. Although both parents no longer live together, a continued presence in the lives of the children is vital to their mental and emotional health. Consider the following ideas to keep in touch with your kids, even if you no longer live at the same address:
How to divorce without going broke
If you're not careful, divorce can lead you right to the poor house. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to successfully divorce without going broke.
Damage control with the ex
During a divorce, it's natural to view your spouse as the enemy. However, this mindset represents a potentially costly mistake - making your ex angry simply makes them likelier to lash out, and it's your wallet that will feel the brunt of that. Instead, think in terms of trying to manage and control any potential drama. The best way to do this is to frame conversations in terms of their needs and values, and make it clear that you still value those things. This can be a crucial factor between an amicable split and a wallet-draining, tabloid-touted fight.
Find your inner peace
It's also natural that you're feeling angry at this time. Divorce is something that completely changes your life. Instead of stressing out about it, which leads to poor emotional decisions and costly battles with your spouse, make a conscious effort to find your inner peace and control your emotions. The word "control" is key there because controlling emotions is not the same as suppressing them. Many people think the key to control is pushing their emotions away and trying to act logically. While that works in theory, the reality is that those suppressed emotions eventually burst out like lava from a volcano. Instead, embrace this three-part process: