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5900 S. Lake Forest Drive, Suite 200,
McKinney, TX 75070
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Mediation is a win/win setup, or, at least, it is supposed to be
If your ultimate goal is to divorce in as swift and amicable a fashion as possible, then avoiding litigation might also be a top priority of yours. Thankfully, there are alternative options in Texas, such as divorce mediation, that can help you resolve your differences and execute a fair and agreeable plan, especially if you have children.
That's not to say that you're guaranteed to succeed if you choose to go the mediation route. There are certain pitfalls or downsides that could cause obstacles or delays toward your settlement. However, if you know how to avoid such problems ahead of time, you increase your chances for success.
Mediation is meant to be neutral
If you sue your spouse for child support or seek sole custody in court, it creates more of a setup for a win/lose outcome. Mediation, however, is designed to promote neutrality. In fact, to succeed, you and your spouse must agree ahead of time to try to avoid confrontation during negotiation sessions.
Why you might think divorce mediation is the best choice
Whether you and your spouse have been married 10, 20 or more years, if issues have come between you that you've determined you cannot resolve, you might be in the process of considering your options for divorce. If so, you're definitely not alone in your discernment, as many Texas residents are likely navigating similar circumstances at this time.
It's good to know there are numerous options when it comes to settling what you need to settle and laying the groundwork to move on in life in separate directions from each other. If you have children, their well-being is undoubtedly one of your highest priorities. Their best interests may greatly influence the decisions you make regarding how to obtain an official settlement.
Divorce need not always be so nasty
You've likely heard horror stories about long, acrimonious court battles where spouses who wish to divorce become entangled in a contentious legal mess as they fight over property division, child custody or other important issues. You can take comfort in knowing that it's often possible to peacefully settle differences to achieve a fair and agreeable divorce settlement. In fact, you may not ever even have to step foot inside a courtroom.
When is divorce mediation not the best choice?
As you embark on the road to divorce, you wonder how difficult the journey will be. Will you and your future ex remain at odds at every turn? Or is it possible for the both of you to find common ground and thus make the journey as smooth as possible?
The reality is divorce doesn't have to be an uphill battle with your future ex. By choosing mediation, you and the other party could have a relatively amicable divorce process rather than a hostile one. However, mediation is not expedient in every situation. Let's look at what mediation is and when mediation may not be the best option for you in Texas.
A look at divorce mediation
Mediation is a process where you and the other party will have the opportunity to get together to negotiate your divorce matters with the help of an independent third party. This third-party mediator will help to facilitate communication between the two of you as you strive to create a mutually satisfactory settlement agreement regarding such matters as child custody, spousal maintenance and property distribution.
What skills do you most need for successful mediation?
Perhaps, in your youth, you were known as a skilled negotiator. Whether it was bartering for the last slice of pizza or convincing your friends where to hang out in your Texas town on a Friday night, maybe you had a special knack for getting your way. On the other hand, you might have been the one who always gave in because you'd rather keep the peace than try to sway people in your favor. Fast forward to adult life and preparing for divorce.
The good news is that it's often possible to settle a divorce without ever going to court. However, when you choose mediation over litigation, you should understand from the get-go that there will be a good bit of negotiation involved. Brushing up on such skills ahead of time will help you accomplish your goals.
Be as prepared as possible
The last thing you'd want to do when using mediation to settle a divorce is to walk into a negotiation session completely unprepared. It's best to think ahead and plan ahead. You might want to make a list of issues you wish to discuss, as well as what you see as top priorities, and also what your needs and ultimate goals for settlement are at the time.
Divorce: Keep this in mind to minimize stress
Certain situations in life can become all-consuming. Maybe you are going through something at work, your boss is being demanding, you and your co-workers are under the gun, and you know your job might be at risk if you don't finish the project on time. When the stakes are high, you might start thinking about work 24/7 and have trouble remembering something or even forget to eat or drink water during the day. A Texas divorce can be like this, too.
Especially, if you're a parent, your intentions might be good — you really just want to finalize a settlement as swiftly as possible, leave the past behind and move on in life with your kids. If you and your spouse disagree on important issues, such as child custody or property division, the process might take a lot longer and become highly stressful. That's why it's important to consider ways to keep stress to a minimum as you resolve your disagreements.
What is a divorce diet?
Preparing now can set you up for strong negotiations later
If you are planning to end your marriage at some point in the future, you know a lot is at stake. Your finances may only be one of the many things you have concerns about, but you would be wise to think now about things you can do that will give you a stronger place from which you can negotiate later. Preparation is a key component to a reasonable divorce order.
You do not have to go to court to divorce. In fact, many Texas couples choose mediation and other out-of-court solutions to resolve their divorce concerns. This is a valid way to save time and money, but you can still tenaciously defend your future interests throughout this process. It can be helpful to start thinking about things you can do now that will benefit you when it's time to move forward.
Do you know what you need to know?
One of the most critical steps you can take to get ready to negotiate is to familiarize yourself with your finances. This is critically important if you were not really involved in financial decisions or the day-to-day money management during your marriage. You need to know about your accounts, your savings, long-term investments and more.
Convincing your spouse to use divorce mediation
January is the month when many think about new beginnings and fresh starts. You may be one of those who will be cleaning out closets, emptying the attic and purging the garage in the weeks to come to symbolically rid yourself of the clutter of the previous year. However, you may have a more practical reason for clearing out the things you no longer need or use.
If you are planning to file for divorce in the near future, you may be taking steps to organize and simplify your life before you move forward with your plans. Perhaps you believe this is one way to make the process smoother and less stressful. You may also consider suggesting to your spouse that you use mediation as your method of divorce. This may be a challenge, especially if your spouse is unhappy about your decision to end the marriage.
The benefits can be persuasive
Convincing your spouse to use an alternative method of dispute resolution instead of litigation may not be easy if your spouse was shocked by your announcement of your intention to divorce. Nevertheless, your efforts to persuade your spouse to use mediation may benefit both of you since litigation often intensifies any ill feelings between spouses. To try to win your spouse to your way of thinking, you may begin by outlining the benefits of mediation over litigation, including:
It's important to understand the potential downsides of mediation
A Texas couple who agrees to remain out of the courtroom during their divorce deserves congratulation. Taking this step opens up the possibility of creating a settlement that benefits everyone involved, especially if there are children involved.
However, attempting to reach an agreement alone could end up costing more than it would to have the assistance of a mediator. Using divorce mediation as a tool to resolve the issues you face in your divorce could help ensure that you reach an agreement with which you can live well into the future. However, before you head down this road, it's important to understand there are some potential downsides to contend with first.
The potential pitfalls of mediation
Most people who talk about mediation do so from the standpoint of its benefits. Of course, there are numerous benefits to the process, but some potential downsides also exist. The more aware you are of them, the better prepared you will be. The most common potential pitfalls of mediation include the following:
Should you try child custody mediation? Would it work for you?
A common misconception about any form of family law mediation is that the parties have to get along in order for it to succeed. Fortunately, that isn't necessarily the case. As long as you and the other parent want to create your own child custody agreement and parenting plan outside of the courtroom, mediation remains a viable option.
Like other Texas parents, you love your children. For this reason, you are probably wondering whether child custody mediation will work for you. If you consider the benefits you could reap from the process, you may find it more of an attractive option.
What can you get out of mediation?
In addition to retaining control over your future, you also receive numerous benefits from child custody mediation, such as the following:
- Your mediation sessions are private. If you are like most people, you don't want to discuss personal matters in public, which is how you could end up if you go to court to resolve your issues.
Does your counselor already know your marriage is over?
If you and your spouse are usually able to work through your differences calmly, or at least agree to disagree, you may have opted to try marriage counseling when your relationship began to deteriorate. Working with a Texas counselor may help you see your issues from a different perspective, and this can be a good way to resolve stubborn conflicts.
Unfortunately, marriage counseling is not the cure-all for every couple. As much as you may have hoped to work out your differences and preserve your marriage, you may recognize some of the signs counselors see that often indicate the marriage cannot be saved.
When cheating does irreparable damage
Infidelity is not always a deal breaker, but there are indications that an affair will doom the marriage. It often depends on the actions the unfaithful spouse is willing to take to repair the damage. For example, if your spouse refuses to cut ties with the other person or is unwilling to acknowledge the hurt the affair has caused, you may be right to want out of the marriage.
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From our office in McKinney, Texas, we provide divorce-related mediation services to clients throughout North Texas, including in Dallas, Plano, Frisco, Celina, Prosper, Little Elm, The Colony, Little Elm, Carrollton, Denton, Addison, Lewisville, Allen, Richardson, Lucas, Parker, Sachse, Murphy, Grapevine, Coppell, Farmers Branch, Dallas County, Denton County, and Collin County.
5900 S. Lake Forest Drive, Suite 200, McKinney, TX 75070
469-406-4320
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